How I Deal with Life.....

How I Deal with Life.....

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

la, la, la- a Bitch and Moan.

Received a detailed report from the Mayo Clinic doctor I saw on December 13, 2011. After numerous costly tests, I find I am slightly anemic, have a vitamin D deficiency, and I have some increase in my gamma globulins markers that are not indicative of lymphoma (nothing serious- just need to be looked at annually now), and some degeneration in lumbar spine from the psoriatic arthritis. Otherwise everything looked normal.
            So, why do I feel so not normal? Why does my entire body feel like I went eight rounds with a very pissed off Mike Tyson?  The doctor had one explanation: pain amplification syndrome. Different from fibromyalgia in that the pressure points do not follow the usual pattern for a diagnosis of fibro. “Amplification” would be the word for how my pain feels. The past four days have been especially bad. And it was Christmas. I toughed it out, cuddled grandbabies, laughed, participated- all with a little help from a half a loracet twice a day; just enough to dull the pain, not get rid of it. I HATE taking painkillers. I will now spend the next week recuperating.
            I am sick and tired of hurting for no good reason. I want to rip my entire ribcage out and toss it in the trash (that is where 90% of the pain is located), but tonight my friend, Scott, told me if I did that then my head would be sitting on my ass. He has a point…
            I’m getting very angry about it all and feeling overwhelmed by the pain. Then I feel guilty because there are so many people out there worse off than me.. I am snappy, tired, and just want to hide. Trying my best not to do that.  
            Back to the Mayo in February.  Ding Ding! Round Nine!!

1 comment:

  1. Terri, I'm really ticked off for you that you have so much pain to deal with, but at least now you do know why. I have no idea why that should matter, but I think it does. You have a name to go with the pain. Don't feel bad at all for taking the meds you need to function! Gentle hugs and lots of prayers.