Written Sept 18, 2012
I am not fit to
be around other humans beings. Before
I got back to the hotel after work today, I went by my still empty apartment to meet
the internet/cable guy so he could get everything turned on. Before he left, he
told me, "It work tomorrow. Meet me here tomorrow same time" . Okay..
He gets in his car. I walk out of the building and some other American teachers
ask me what he said. I told them, and they rolled their eyes and laughingly
said, but I didn't think it was funny at all, "Don't believe him. You
won't see him for a week". They gave me a phone number and told me to call
it TONIGHT and let the cable/internet provider know that the guy did not finish
the work and how he promised to be back tomorrow.
Then the
dentist's office phoned (I so chipped one of my bottom teeth last week, while
flossing, for God's sake) and a lady who could not speak very good English
(after all I am not in America or Kansas a.k.a Middle Georgia anymore) and informed
me that my appointment was "cancel" this Friday. No reason given-
just "cancel", and that I needed to make "other" appointment with "other" dentist in
same office. I tried to explain to her
that my Blue Cross insurance had made the appointment and that the dentist I
had the appointment with was the only one my Blue Cross insurance covered. I
did not use the words "y'all" or "reckon" or the phrase
"fixin' to" at all. I promise. She told me, "You no understand. Make
appointment with other dentist here". I again explained the situation
sssslllooowwwlllyyy and with no trace of a Southern accent, and she again
insisted I make an appointment with another dentist in the office. Again, I
explained even more SSSSSLLLLLOOOOOWWWWWLLLLLYYYYY that Blue Cross would NOT
cover to pay another dentist, and she got all quiet and said, "Insurance
no cover?" BINGO! We have a winner!
Then she got all quiet on me. I thought she had hung up. I said, "Hello?"
and she abruptly and briskly commanded,
"Call next week and make other appointment".
Fine, my tooth is
still chipped and I am scared to bite into anything harder than yogurt for
fear of shearing my poor little tooth the rest of the way off. However, every cloud has a silver, (or
somewhat sparkly, if slightly tarnished), lining and the happy news is that I
have stopped chewing mindlessly on my cuticles; a habit that drove Dear Husband
insane. I might have to go get a
manicure now that I don't have to be embarrassed about my poor tattered
cuticles. Sort of like cleaning the house before the maid comes over, but I've
never had a maid, so I don't know how that feels.
After the visit
with the cable/internet guy and the pleasant chat with the dentist's
receptionist, I headed to the hotel. On the drive back, while pushing my little
Go Cart rental like a demon possessed through rush hour traffic, blasting AC/DC
the whole way and screaming/singing at the top of my lungs, "In the
beginning, back in 1965. Man didn't know about rock and roll show and all that
jive..." something just snapped..
Everyone in the
next two lanes tried to figure out what in the hell was up with the middle aged
(I am not old yet), obviously bottle blonde lady in the pretend Chevy, who was head
banging, and taking corners like her ass was on fire. I merely smiled and pretended I was Bon Scott (before he died in his own
vomit in a car. I don't think he drove too much after died..), cruised on in my own little AC/DC world, parked the car in the hotel parking lot, cocooned
myself in my little room, and nuked a
can of soup in the microwave (I took it out of the can first... the soup, not
the microwave. ). I found the soup at Abela market yesterday (Heinz Winter
Garden.. yummy) and I highly recommend it to all new teachers going through
vegetable withdrawal.
After I ate, I sat down to check Face book and saw where one
of the other teachers had posted that the rest of the new teachers needed to check
our ADEC emails because some of us have to go back and have our medical checks
done again (We had to have medical checks when we first arrived in Abu Dhabi to
make sure we don't have TB or Bubonic Plague or something like that) .
I think I might be one of those people who
might have failed the medical test thing. I probably have an email waiting for
me right now, but I can't get into my ADEC email. It probably all started when
the nurse at the medical check asked me if I were pregnant and I looked at her
in horror, raised one menopausal eyebrow as best I could (never could pull off
that Spock thing, but always wanted to), and said, "I hope to hell
not". In the UAE. In a Muslim country. While they had my passport. Good
thinking, idiot self.
Anyway, I have
been telling everyone for years now that I have some rare, incurable disease,
other than "Arthur", but no one will listen to me and I'll bet they
all end up feeling really stupid when I have to have my medical check repeated because
it turns out I have the rarest disease in the world and they all get jealous
because the AMA writes a super long, in depth article about me and I (Female,
Aged 50, case number 46733920885372) become famous. And everyone will be
BEGGING for my autograph and I will have to hire huge seven foot tall security men
to protect me from all of the salivating paparazzi.
See why I didn't go out again after I got back to the hotel
room this afternoon? I cannot be trusted around other human beings, at least
not within the next twelve hours. The
voices in my head won't shut the hell up and now I have a Bon Scott complex and
am probably dying from a rare incurable deadly toe fungus or hair cancer. And my tooth
is still chipped.
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