Chapter 1: My Father's Apocalypse "Losing Himself"

October 12, 2009

     Dad loses things constantly now and is certain that someone is “taking” his belongings. We don’t even try and argue with him anymore. We just help him look for the lost item, and invariably these lost things turn up in the most bizarre places: $300.00 dollars in cash just lying on the seat of his unlocked car, his driver’s license under the driver’s seat, his debit card at the consignment shop. He lost his house keys the other day. We still haven’t found them. There’s no telling where they’ll turn up. He refuses to say the dinner prayer or offering prayer at church anymore because his speech has deteriorated to the point where he can’t form the words he wants. He gets frustrated and embarrassed. He shies away from social activities where he will be forced to come in contact with a room full of people. If he is in that type of situation, he just commanders a chair in the back of the room and watches. People don’t really notice this change of behavior because dad has never been a loquacious person to begin with. But I notice. I see the fear in his eyes of saying something inappropriate, or not being able to recall a simple word or phrase. He keeps quiet and watches. My father has turned into a silent, lonely observer of the world around him.